its wierd that i am writing here instead of in my diary...but then again i think it all comes when there is a flow in your thoughts..i really am in a pathetic state of mind right now..most of the people get here but i think i have always been here..atleast it feels that way..dunno why..life suddenly seems to have taken a u turn and i see myself standing exactly where i was a few years back..its wierd..pathetic to suddenly see myself so static..so stuck on this state of mind..its been here for quite some time now..dont really wanna know wat is the reason behind it but then again i think i am stuck and cant realy do anything about it...funny eh..cant really help myself..wat the fuck will i help others..u must have realised by now that i am fuckin confused about myself..really dont know where to go..or wat i want from life..
the people around me act like strong source of gravity..pulling me with them..but then its pretty sorted if u think of it..i dont drink or smoke up..never really felt the need to..always thought i should not lose control of my thoughts ..funny that now even in my sane sense i still have no control over my thoughts or the way i feel...
i never asked anything from god u know...dont belive in him as such..but yesterday i went there with him and asked god for something...for him..trust me if he doesnt deliver it this time never again am i ever gonna even see his face..always thought wat true love is..but its only now that i am gettin to realise it might b wat it is right now..dont get confused cause as i write this my thoughts are gettin sorted as well..thats the way it works for me..
thats a lot to ponder over..take care
