ahhh..

ahhhhh...on to my fantasy machine(this pc to b precise)..my marijuana..my speed wagon..feels goooood.
completely birserk..i made a new discovery today..not really come to think of it..knew about it long time back..but today i put it in practise to my life..actually went up soaring high into the ethereal bizarre space..and looked down at my life from that bunch of floating clouds..ahhh..beautiful view..lots of greenery..dark patches here and there..nothin that cant be remedied..felt good.my life..go on get a positive opinion to wats the most dear thing to u.
the closer u get to ur own life the more distant u grow to facts.
sometimes the closest thing to u lets u go cause of certain unavoidable situations..doesnt mean it can take away ur memories and your thougts and fantasies..and isnt that wat life all about..fantasies and ways of making them come true..so see..in the end u should be a happier and more whole individual..cause nobody can take u away from yourself..(wher to wher..my thoughts i tell u..its like a fast running train..goes through the best parts of the terrain..and then through some rough patches..but still keeps chugging enthusiastically throughout)..nite

wonderland

thats exactly wat this place is...a merry go round..u spin ..go wit the flow..and then when the ride is over its jus simple..u get off and carry on wit ur mundane existence..today was wierd..lost and still very much alive...had an awesomee time..went to girish place again..and ya jus was sitting on the top again ..same open sky and the stars..and my smokes..lots of people..
had a crazy ride back home..zach was driving..crazy..think he was really high..but thats okay..it was awesome twist and turns..nearly fell off at one place..funny.
thought for the day..u always cross the road thinking that the vehicles will not deviate from their path..will explain later.

this coll has given me a lot of things if i look back at it..some fantastic memories..made me meet and get close to some awesome people..see different aspects to the people who in daily life would seem so mundane and distant ..wat life ahead has to offer..(this place can actually be a short preview to that)..it has been a learning experience if nothing else..lots of learning to do..and another thing ..you need to understand that when u r alone u need not be lonely..(i am, sometimes ,to admit the truth) but still one should get over that..
this place..manipal..my home for another one year..(ya well watever)..its a crazy place wit crazy people around..like even as i write this there are people singin at the top of their voices outside..if i would have been my previous self i would have probably gone and sang with them..but now i have changed and like any other loser all i can do is sit and crib..funny me!!!
i went to this friends place today..girish..neat place..awesome view..awesome memories..it was beautiful..sitting there alone..on the top of the terrace..staring at the far distant horizon wit some distant rock playing..jus me,myself and my thoughts..(and my smoke..did i forget that??)ill remember this place..as something that gave me loads( sad times as well as some beautiful ones)..goodnite ..

there are times when i feel lonely and desperate to do things that I want to do..but then all these thoughts(which always seem to come at the wrong time) will come around..and i am impaired..stuck in the middle of time..jus one year left and to lose people now is like crazy..isnt this the time that we make everlasting relationship cause we are old enough and young enough at the same time..its crazy and in the night lying down in bed thinking of such things drives me insane..mayb i am responsible..but still..it does not lessen the hurt..kinda multiplies it to this magnanimous limit which is hard to take after a while..
i am trying..to find solace..but still at times i run out..feel out of breath.
i was reading this book..The Zahir..it talks aboutthis concept of a feeling an entity (if u can call it that) that haunts u all the time..unless u face it..head on it doesnt let u go..stays in your head..stares at u at every corner in every action in every move..for that author it was his wife who had left him..not left really..jus went off in search of self identity..for me ???mayb i know wat it is..but somewher down the line i dont wanna own upto it..the coward that i am..dont wanna face it..and i know till the day i dont..its gonna haunt me..