there are times when i feel lonely and desperate to do things that I want to do..but then all these thoughts(which always seem to come at the wrong time) will come around..and i am impaired..stuck in the middle of time..jus one year left and to lose people now is like crazy..isnt this the time that we make everlasting relationship cause we are old enough and young enough at the same time..its crazy and in the night lying down in bed thinking of such things drives me insane..mayb i am responsible..but still..it does not lessen the hurt..kinda multiplies it to this magnanimous limit which is hard to take after a while..
i am trying..to find solace..but still at times i run out..feel out of breath.
i was reading this book..The Zahir..it talks aboutthis concept of a feeling an entity (if u can call it that) that haunts u all the time..unless u face it..head on it doesnt let u go..stays in your head..stares at u at every corner in every action in every move..for that author it was his wife who had left him..not left really..jus went off in search of self identity..for me ???mayb i know wat it is..but somewher down the line i dont wanna own upto it..the coward that i am..dont wanna face it..and i know till the day i dont..its gonna haunt me..