every night when i sleep..i am so full of thoughts i could run to the comp and start writin and probably never end..ut jus when i start actually bloggin..all the inhibitions come in...dunno why..wish nooone read my blogs..not that it matters but jus..wat am i sayin??there is this very close friend of mine..took care of him like anythin..and suddenly i seem to b partin ways wit him..it hurts..but then there is nothin much u can do about it can u??u cant keep the person right there wit u thinking he is never gonna move on..there r probably other things in his mind..other people far more important and entertaining that wat i got to offer..i do miss the spontaniety..the game of hiding..and all that.but then again..last few days have taught me more than i lifetime could..i guess.
i am patient now..more at ease wit myself..oh and i have started to accept things as they are..i know it will stop the dynamic attitude i used to boast of..but there have t b changes introduced wit every new situation u face...ill make u read some of the stuff he wrote..msg rather..jus to give u an insight.."one afternoon four years ago..life seemed perfect.the opposite sex was the ultimate in life..as we broused through books on architecture noticing tapestry in cathedrals,statues of nude men and women n a lotta other products of human imagination,i felt warm and fuzzy,..a very comfortable feeling..my feet didnt feel cold anymore..her hand on my chest..we hadnt poken for a while then..i felt my lips part.the feel of her warm lips didnt feel too unfamiliar.the warmth was incredible.stimulating me every second of the moment.my braeath was warmer than ever n so was she..the moves were makin me blurry..we moved till time permitted..it left me danglin wit the most elated feeling ever"..thats him for u..and oh another one..here goes"of course i went alone.my happiest moments r mostly selfish..like the morning walks to see the sunrise..but then when the mornin star does seem to jump out from behind the humped mountain..with the rest of the sky looking violet,lilac and lavender..the whole effect with the hundred shades of yellow and red jus make u smile with the near perfect round ocean of fire..not a soul aroun u..but the little creatures who sing or cry at the break of dawn..n all this makes me smile..n that breaks my attention n makes me look around and i wish ther was someone to share this smile wit me...i still know i am not alone"jus two of his writings,,thats him the way i have known him all through..and now there is nothin but a blank curiosity to know wats in my mind..wats botherin me..os its the outside world..its his naivity that still keeps me goin..wish he knew...anyways..thats life..